This morning, I had the privilege of sharing with a global community of Positive Intelligence mental fitness coaches. We were gifted a session with the founder of Positive Intelligence, Shirzad Chamine who shared some of his very Sage wisdom around how to cope when the world feels out of control around us. These are important lessons, and ones I’ve learned along the way.
So, in this edition I will offer up someone else’s lessons that I have also embraced along my journey.
Lesson 1: In challenging times prolonged outrage, guilt or resignation actually contributes to the problem.
If there is a situation in the world that upsets us it is perfectly normal to feel outrage or anger. Those are warning signs to alert us that something is not right – like touching the stove momentarily to see if a burner is hot. But living in a state of prolonged outrage is like keeping your hand on that burner even after you discover how hot it is. It will only serve to burn you.
Similarly, guilt is our conscience alerting us to be aware of something. But guilt is another negative emotion that we can equate to the hot stove. Keeping your hand on the hot burner will only serve to cause further damage.
Resignation – burying one’s head in the sand is also not a reaction that will prove helpful in the long run because as caring humans when something is off, we naturally want to do something about it. Resignation temporarily buries the underlying problem but doesn’t allow you to move towards resolution.
So – what’s the best answer? Feel the anger, outrage and guilt but only for the moment they serve to alert you. And rather than resign yourself to the way things are, ask yourself what you can do to make things a little better. You won’t negotiate an end to a war overseas, nor will you likely solve the challenge of world hunger. But if enough of us redirected our negative energy into positive energy, the downstream ripples ultimately can affect change.
IN TIMES OF GREAT CHALLENGE, ASK YOURSELF WHERE YOUR ENERGY IS BEST DIRECTED.
Lesson 2: Hating the hater empowers the hater.
The opposite of hate is love. If you lean into hate – the negative – you are not allowing love – the positive – space to come in. The negative energy of your hate is contagious thanks to the mirroring neurons phenomena. But the positive energy of your love is also contagious.
IN TIMES OF GREAT CHALLENGE, AS YOURSELF WHICH CONTAGION YOU’D RATHER SPREAD.
Lesson 3: Be proactive, not reactive.
When we care so much, we are easily manipulated by the news and our innate desire to react to each cycle. As an example, daily, the media swarms us with pictures of hundreds of children dying in wars across the globe. As caring humans, we naturally react with outrage and want to do something about this travesty. We rail on about the poor dying children and hope our voices make a difference. We react to the news onslaught. But we are missing the fact that these are not the only children dying daily.
Research on helping children at risk of starvation reveals that, on average over 8,000 children die of hunger across the globe EVERY DAY. Do those children matter any less than the ones who died in wars they did not ask for? Is my energy best served reacting to a child’s loss of life (under any circumstance) or is it better served doing something to help feed the world’s hungry children so more children are not lost?
IN TIMES OF GREAT CHALLENGE, BEING PROACTIVE IN UNDERSTANDING ISSUES WILL HELP YOU MAKE INFORMED DECISIONS ABOUT WHERE YOUR ENERGY IS BEST SERVED.
Lesson 4: Be the change you want to see in the world.
You can always choose what you want to focus your energy on… a problem or the solution?… hate or love? Given the current state of the world, choosing love over hate, positive over negative, kindness over nasty will ultimately ripple out to the rest of the world.
IN TIMES OF GREAT CHALLENGE, IMAGING UPLIFTING EVEN JUST ONE PERSON… THE RIPPLE EFFECT WILL IMPACT ALL THE PEOPLE THAT PERSON ENCOUNTERS, REALLY BROADENING YOUR OWN REACH.
Lesson 5: Love the universe – Trust in the mystery unfolding.
Loving the universe is all about trusting in how things will unfold instead of trying to hold onto control. I’ve certainly learned the hard way over the years that there is far more beyond my control than what is within my control. Leaning into accepting that things are happening for a reason gives me permission to let go of the control I can’t have anyway. Here I will share the parable of the Stallion that teaches us, among other things, to toss away narratives and allow events to simply flow as they are rather than as you wish they were. One of my clients really leaned into the moral of this parable as his mantra that he credits with keeping him calmer and more patient.
The Stallion…
An old farmer lives on his farm with his teenage son. He also has a beautiful stallion that he lovingly cares for.
The farmer enters his stallion into the annual country fair competition. His stallion wins first prize. The farmer’s neighbors gather to congratulate him on this great win. He calmly says, “Who knows what is good and what is bad?” Puzzled by this reaction, the neighbors go away.
The next week, some thieves who heard about the stallion’s increased value steal the horse. When the neighbors come to commiserate with the farmer, they find him again very calm and gathered. He says, “Who knows what is good and what is bad?”
Several days later, the spirited stallion escapes from the thieves and finds his way back to the farm, bringing with him a few wild mares he has befriended along the way. To his neighbors’ excited rounds of congratulations, the old farmer once again says, “Who knows what is good and what is bad?”
A few weeks later, the farmer’s son is thrown off one of these new mares as he is trying to break it in, and his leg is fractured. As the neighbors gather to commiserate with the old farmer, he once again reminds them, “Who knows what is good and what is bad?”
The following week, the imperial army marches through the village, conscripting all eligible young men for the war that has just broken out. The old farmer’s son is spared due to his fractured leg. The neighbors no longer bother to come to the old farmer to congratulate him. By now they know what his response will be: “Who knows what is good and what is bad?”
IN TIMES OF GREAT CHALLENGE, IF WE LEAN INTO LOVING THE UNIVERSE THE LOVE WE OUTPUT TO IT WILL REVERBERATE ACROSS IT.
My lesson learned from the wisdom gifted to me this morning is to continue to be as grateful as I am for the Sage wisdom and tools in my toolkit that allow me to put my own oxygen mask on before trying to help others. This wisdom was important enough for me to want to share it with all of you.
MY OFFER TO YOU:
In my ongoing effort to be true to lesson #4 (be the change I want to see), and be a source of loving kindness and positivity, I offer up to any of my subscribers who are finding the changes around you a challenge of late the gift of an hour of my time to help you process through some of what might be coming up for you, and ensure you feel heard.
