In mid-June we moved my dad to long-term care. It was a difficult decision to make. We worried that his dementia would progress to the next level with new surroundings. We worried that he’d hate it because he loved where he was living. We worried that he’d be forced into Covid lockdowns that would prevent us from seeing him – like what we’d experienced with my mom when she entered the same home three years ago. We worried too much.
Worry is a funny thing. It heaps upon us undue stress, anxiety and a deep-seated fear of the unknown. When we let our worries take us over, we are not living in the present – we are living wherever the worry is taking us – back to something in the past or forward towards a future we’ve yet to experience.
The past happened. It’s over and done with, and we can’t go back. If something in the past went amiss, we can learn from it, apply the lessons and move forward.
The future is entirely unpredictable. This past couple of weeks in American politics has clearly proven that out! We can plan for what we hope will be the desired outcomes, but at the end of the day, we will still have to go with the flow if and when the predicted outcomes change.
All that worrying over Dad….? He will tell you he is living in the BEST PLACE for him. He will tell you that the people are FANTASTIC, and the food is GREAT. He will tell you that he is really pleased to have been living there for as long as he has (YEARS in his mind, but only a month in reality) – because of course, he’s forgotten, thanks to the dementia that he ever lived anywhere else…
From Dad and his dementia (and my golden retriever, Indy) I am learning to just “be”.
Life Lesson Learned
Being present in the moment means far less anxiety, fear and stress. Taking the left turn away from worry and being able to go with the flow means I can surf the waves of this crazy life as they come at me without concern that I will drown.
Learn to just be, like my dad and Indy below.
Dad and Indy together on the sofa, living in the moment!